hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
