Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
