I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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