Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
