There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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