He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
