New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
