The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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