Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
