Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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