omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
