so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
