i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
