thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
