I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
