I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dear god my vagina.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize