it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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