He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
