it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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