is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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