party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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