real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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