So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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