i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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