Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
