My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
