btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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