She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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