Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
