I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize