I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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