I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
