ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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