Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
