Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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