Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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