Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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