Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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