He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
