We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
jump out the window naked night went bad
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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