i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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