And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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