I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
