Duck Duck Cougar?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize