only if we run a train.
done.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
