yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The air was thick with penises
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
