Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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