I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
