The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
