I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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