i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
