Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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