so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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