we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
