Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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