i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
