if you like me you must not know who I am
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
